I have a confession to make… A big one and I hope to have effect on those reading it. The thing is, my problems with my health started when I had recently turned 19 years old, in 1999. And it had nothing to do with my gut, although it is connected.
I have been “planning” this confession for a long time. That is, once I had reached a respectable position, as a professional, mountaineer and life enthusiast I would come open about this. Therefore I am confessing this here as I believe I can now change people’s attitude towards all kinds of illnesses.
My condition in 1999 affected my mind and soul, as I was diagnosed by doctors with bipolar disorder, also known as manic depressive disorder (Ísl. geðhvörf). I was committed to a mental hospital and stayed there for about 2 months. This happened again in 2004, a couple of months after I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. And for the third time, just 11 days ago, I went to the hospital in Akureyri (capital of north of Iceland) with the same condition. Just yesterday I got back home and am still recovering a really difficult period in my life.
Bipolar disorder is, by definition, manic behavior (going up) and then depressive behavior. I have however newer experienced depression and that alone makes one question this diagnosis. I ask you to have in mind that my case of “manic” behavior was never serious as I “only” become hyperactive which scares others around me which ends, after a strange chain of events, with me going to a hospital.
This hasn’t been a secret but at the same time I haven’t been talking about it publicly as I know, by experience, that people do not understand a condition like this. Only people who have been committed to a mental institute truly understand what happens to a person in a condition like mine.
Having in mind what I have gone through I believe I am a walking contradiction as I should be dead by now. Given the following “diagnosis’s” by doctors:
- Bipolar disorder in 1999
- Ulcerative Colitis in 2003, for five years
- Bipolar disorder in 2004
- Cancer in 2008
- Ileostomy in 2008
- Bipolar disorder in 2011
And this is the really short version
So this is me.
And I live - despite limitations - an incredibly eventful life.
I am a life enthusiast and hope everybody, especially the ones living with limitations, which is a very large group of people on this earth, can join me in having fun for the rest of our life.
For those that haven’t lived with limitations please trust the rest of us for ourselves… We really know what we are doing and try to learn from us.
As for the doctors, please realize your role as healers and think twice when you tell someone he or she has “this disease that is very serious and medicine is the solution” when the persons mind and soul is what should be meditated first.
I have been fighting all kinds of diseases my entire adult life. Despite that I continue “going up”. My promise to myself, and those around me, is that I will take care of myself so that I will be free to do all the things that I am capable of and will thereby have positive effect on others. I hope you will do that to as that is the single most important thing you can do in your life. If you are unhappy in whatever situation you are in, change it.
Following this confession my thoughts and tales on this webpage will change which hopefully will bring in more readers and increased viewings. Thereby my webpage will change as it is constantly developing. Also, I will be more active on this page as I have a lot more time on my hands.
If you want to participate in my quest to become a better person, live life to the fullest and have positive effect on your environment, please contact me through this webpage or through e-mail, agustkr (at) gmail (dot) com. Also if you want to support me, financially or with your ideas, please be in contact.
Sincerely and with hopes of a brighter future.
P.S. I guess the following video sums up what I have been going through. This is Jack Johnson describing how important it is to actually break down so that you can breath in and enjoy the scenery. Thats where I’m at right now – enjoying the scenery and excited for whats to come.